Audrey

Favorite food

"You know what my favorite food is?  Whales.  I was eating it yesterday, when I was at the doctor."

I love Audrey's little non-sequiturs.

Too bad we can't make money off this

Our two year old LOVES green beans. And peas. Last week she asked for both pineapple and green beans and I told her she could only have one and held my breath... and she chose green beans.

Today, on a whim while at the grocery, I picked up lima beans (fracking lima beans for chrissakes!!) and gave them to her for lunch, and she snapped them up.

What's next, brussel sprouts?

I wish I could market this ability of hers - which naturally is a direct result of the wonderful job I have done parenting her. That's it - I'll write a children's book!

Recent quotes

She has a wonderful sense of drama. After putting on a pair of underwear recently, she stood up, threw both arms into the air and shouted "ta-DAAAAAA!!!"

Even better, yesterday while sitting on the toilet, she looked down at her legs and said "Where my butt go???".

All Growed Up

Well I knew it was just a matter of time... baby girl now knows how to pee in the potty.

David was out of town last week, so naturally my masochistic tendencies popped up - since I was home alone with two children, it seemed the proper time to see if she was ready for potty training. So we went out and bought some underwear[1] and she spent each evening proudly wearing it, and for the most part, peeing in it without comment and then demanding to be changed. Over the weekend she managed to spend most of an entire day in underwear, only needing to be changed twice... once was poop, of course. Lovely.

At any rate, come Monday at school I put her back in a pullup... and when I picked her up, her teacher gushed about how she peed in the potty four times that day! [2]

Since then, it's only gotten better - she doesn't make a show out of it, she asks to pee, does her business, even washes her hands by herself. Oh man, to think that I might be so very close to not having to deal with any more diapers in the house...

actually...

That idea kind of scares me. We're not having any more kids, so actually saying goodbye to diapers means actually saying goodbye to babies. I've been holding on for a while - sure she's walking and talking and liking star wars because her "brudder" likes it and she likes everything her brudder likes... but still, she poops and needs me to change it. My baby still needs me.

Oy.

 

 

[1] And I managed to steer her away from actual disney princesses to some elmo underwear... and OK, one set of Ariel. BUT SHE IS NOT A PRINCESS! So it's OK.

[2] This from the girl who peed in the potty once six months ago and maybe once since then, but Just Would Not Use The Potty like all the other good little boys and girls in her class, whose potty charts have been filling up with stickers and gradually transitioning to "Mason says bye-bye to diapers!" charts instead.

My favorite part of baths

Is the part where she insists she absolutely must have a bath, and then after being completely undressed she starts whinging quietly, and then when you set her in the bath she will not sit down and instead just stands up screaming until the abuse is all over.

oy.

Communication tricks

She doesn't like to go to bed. So if you ask her "Audrey, do you want to go night-night?" the answer is of course no.

She does like saying night-night, though. So if you say "Audrey, it's time to say night-night to everyone!" she will then run around the house practically yelling "NIGH-NIGH DADDY! NIGHNIGH JARED! NIGHNIGHMOMMY!", and then will promptly come to you to be carried upstairs, and put in her crib without complaint.

I need to burn these memories into my brain...

"I make water!"

I made tomato soup for dinner (where "made" means "microwaved a can of it and poured it into a bowl", of course), and during a bath after dinner Audrey very cutely 'made' me water soup. Actually, I was fascinated just observing her during her bath, because she did so many things that were so precise and engineer-like... carefully measuring water, noticing how putting bottles under the water made them fill up, and seeing how full she could get it.

Devious

I'm in the kitchen. Both kids are on the couch in the family room, watching TV.

I hear raucous giggling from said family room. I enter.

Audrey takes one look at me and says "Jared - NO JUMPING on da couch!" and grins at me pointedly.

I shake my head and turn away and leave the room.

Then I hear Audrey say: "Jared, jump gain! Jump gain!"

Cute puppet, poppet.

Audrey takes her shoes off in the car pretty much every day on the ride home from school. Recently she learned a new trick on top of that, and took off both her shoes and her socks... and put a sock on her hand and shouted "puppet!!". So stinkin' cute.

Yesterday while driving home, she was wearing tight socks and was struggling to get the socks off. A few minutes later David turned around and saw that she still had her socks on her feet... but she also had two socks on her hands and was merrilly gibbering 'puppet!'. Jared, shoe and sockless, was thrilled that he could help his sister out. :-)

Words

More and more of them coming every week. Her latest trick is counting, it sounds like this:

"uh oo ee oh eye ips ebben ni te"

Yes, she skipps eight. It's so cute.

Here's how she does the alphabet song:

"eigh bee cee dee now i no my eigh bee cees"