Audrey

Preschooler unclear on the concept, exhibit A

"I spy with my little eye... something blue... my waffle!"

Worst. Parents. Ever.

It's been a rough couple of weeks with Audrey, she's just been... well there's no other way to say it, she's been a little wanker. Very 'screamy', as they say. So my nerves have been a bit frayed lately, to say the least.

I finally got around to scheduling her 3 year checkup for a month after she turned 3, and we took her in to the appointment... only to find out that she has a raging ear infection in one ear.

Huh? Neither of my kids has ever had an ear infection - which has always been amazing to me given how many of my friends' kids had seemingly one after the other, and some had to get tubes put in.

Gee, come to think of it, maybe this could explain her behavior...

So because I'm not a fan of antibiotics if they're not needed and because Audrey wasn't pulling at her ear or doing anything to indicate that she was in a lot of pain (other than, of course, being a little wanker but hey there are lots of reasons for that, one of which is "being a three year old"), we decided to just let her body fight it off.

The next week, David pointed out that hrm, gee, I'm going to be traveling on a plane with both kids by myself in a couple weeks, and what if her ear infection hasn't gone away by then, that could be hellish... so he takes her back to the doctor, only to find out the ear infection is worse.

Oy.

So he got antibiotics, and she's been on them four days (it only took us 24 hours to figure out that she would be wonderfully motivated to not spit them out if she gets to have a piece of halloween candy every time she has the medicine. Did I mention that she gets the medicine twice a day?)... and today we noted that you know, life's been a little less crazy the last few days, and gee she's less "screamy" than usual.

Gee whilikers.

I haven't heard this song before...

"Here we go around the libary bush..."

Birthday

I don't know what to do for her birthday. Jared's first "proper" birthday with kids from his school was at age five, we just treated birthdays as excuses to have a barbecue and invite over friends-with-kids for previous years. But Audrey has seen first-hand at Jared's party and all the other parties for both of their classmates that when you have a birthday, you have a big party with all your friends from school, and you get a lot of presents.

I asked her tonight what she wanted for her birthday, and she said:

"A storm trooper. No, wait... a chewbacca."

That's my girl!

Of course I should also mention that for the last couple of weeks she has been asking for "a baby that when you push a button, eats a cracker." Anyone know where I can find such a doll?

Potty training is sooooooooooo much fun

A couple of weeks ago, our intrepid two year old waddles into our bedroom at 6AM like usual, and proudly announces: "I wearin' underwear!"

David and I looked at each other, puzzled... oh crap! Did we put her to bed in underwear by mistake last night? Oh no...

So I get up, and head over to her room... the bed, fortunately, is dry. I look in the bathroom, and sitting on the floor by the toilet is a very wet pullup. In the toilet is a single square of toilet paper. Audrey then toddles in and confirms the sequence of events: "I pee inna poddy and den I puton underwear!"

Favorite food

"You know what my favorite food is?  Whales.  I was eating it yesterday, when I was at the doctor."

I love Audrey's little non-sequiturs.

Too bad we can't make money off this

Our two year old LOVES green beans. And peas. Last week she asked for both pineapple and green beans and I told her she could only have one and held my breath... and she chose green beans.

Today, on a whim while at the grocery, I picked up lima beans (fracking lima beans for chrissakes!!) and gave them to her for lunch, and she snapped them up.

What's next, brussel sprouts?

I wish I could market this ability of hers - which naturally is a direct result of the wonderful job I have done parenting her. That's it - I'll write a children's book!

Recent quotes

She has a wonderful sense of drama. After putting on a pair of underwear recently, she stood up, threw both arms into the air and shouted "ta-DAAAAAA!!!"

Even better, yesterday while sitting on the toilet, she looked down at her legs and said "Where my butt go???".

All Growed Up

Well I knew it was just a matter of time... baby girl now knows how to pee in the potty.

David was out of town last week, so naturally my masochistic tendencies popped up - since I was home alone with two children, it seemed the proper time to see if she was ready for potty training. So we went out and bought some underwear[1] and she spent each evening proudly wearing it, and for the most part, peeing in it without comment and then demanding to be changed. Over the weekend she managed to spend most of an entire day in underwear, only needing to be changed twice... once was poop, of course. Lovely.

At any rate, come Monday at school I put her back in a pullup... and when I picked her up, her teacher gushed about how she peed in the potty four times that day! [2]

Since then, it's only gotten better - she doesn't make a show out of it, she asks to pee, does her business, even washes her hands by herself. Oh man, to think that I might be so very close to not having to deal with any more diapers in the house...

actually...

That idea kind of scares me. We're not having any more kids, so actually saying goodbye to diapers means actually saying goodbye to babies. I've been holding on for a while - sure she's walking and talking and liking star wars because her "brudder" likes it and she likes everything her brudder likes... but still, she poops and needs me to change it. My baby still needs me.

Oy.

 

 

[1] And I managed to steer her away from actual disney princesses to some elmo underwear... and OK, one set of Ariel. BUT SHE IS NOT A PRINCESS! So it's OK.

[2] This from the girl who peed in the potty once six months ago and maybe once since then, but Just Would Not Use The Potty like all the other good little boys and girls in her class, whose potty charts have been filling up with stickers and gradually transitioning to "Mason says bye-bye to diapers!" charts instead.

My favorite part of baths

Is the part where she insists she absolutely must have a bath, and then after being completely undressed she starts whinging quietly, and then when you set her in the bath she will not sit down and instead just stands up screaming until the abuse is all over.

oy.